It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
