why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
