Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
