hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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