I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
