I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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