im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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