I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
