dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
