my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
