Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
