dude i'm inner monologue high
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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