I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
