i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
