State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how does that bad decision feel?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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