butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
