Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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