Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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