Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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