It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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