i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
