one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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