I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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