Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
