I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
