Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
