NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
