OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
