..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
