we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
