it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
