How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
