i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize