idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
