The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just pee around me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
