i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
