Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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