Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
