lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
