I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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