Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
COCAINE IS GR8
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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