bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
