i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
