Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we're making bets on your personal life
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
