Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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