my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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