Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Quick, to the slutcave!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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