i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
