Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
