So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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